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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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Hello. :)
As Expressions Editor of iAteneo.com, I'm inviting anyone and everyone to contribute any semblance of artistic expression for the website. You can submit any amount to me (email it to: carbonated_gothic@hotmail.com or smileyfangs@yahoo.com) at any time--new or old fiction, essays, poetry, stage plays, screen plays, journal entries, photographs, sketches, comic strips, song lyrics, graphics, website templates, anythinganythinganything. Anything. If you cut a teddy bear in half and dipped it in old cheese, and you were honestly able to express yourself through that, scan the thing and send it to me. Not to worry, I won't go all Pulitzer on any of your asses--this section of the website is a free-for-all, a blank slate. So, as I've pointed out before, it can be anything that you're willing to make accessible to the community. Anything, anytime.
So clean the cheese from your hands and warm that scanner up. Your teddy and my section are game.
Thank you very, very much. :)
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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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I hate
my Filipino teacher who is a Grade Nazi
this up-chucky feeling I've had for the past 48 hours
the wishy-washy heat
this coming week's workload
my personal fiscal crisis
that the nearest McDonald's isn't near enough
people from other schools who keep needling me, asking me week in, week out about incredibly difficult art/philosophy questions they have to write papers on for subjects I'm currently not taking up and then get mad because I'm not able to/too tired help them out, putang ina putang ina putang ina I am not a fucking homework machine
but I do love
Keebler's Soft Batch chocolate chip coooogies
Dove chocolate
tonight's shows on cable
+++
Not a very balanced weekend, obviously, but I'll have to make do. This is a very annoying Saturday.
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Friday, September 3rd, 2004
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After an especially hellish cab flag-down that lasted forever (IF SOMEONE ELSE GOT THE CABBIE'S ATTENTION, DON'T GRAB THE FUCKING DOOR FOR YOURSELF, DUMBASS), ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) deardaniel, isawsarap and I caught Supersize Me.
I don't think Filipinos in general can even afford to live in an American-sized fastfood world. If our large is only their small/medium, having something Supersized over here will cost a fortune. And besides budget trouble, I don't think we can really stomach all that food. I love my fries, especially since they help keep me sane and comforted, but I'm pretty sure snarfing down half a fucking pound of the stuff won't be my idea of a happy meal. The same goes for the sodas. In fact, I was in a very, um, complementary state in the theater since the two Cokes (Light, but does it matter?) I drank left me feeling feverish.
+++
And one more thing: never eat the Cadbury Pinky bar unless you've been eating rock salt for the last 5 years. It's sweetened choco-caramel-mallow goo. You'd be better off downing sugar by the cup.
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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Saw my very first UAAP game, UP-Ateneo. Losing sucks, but I liked the fact that I belonged somewhere. I'm sure that's already a passe sentiment, pero pabigyan na ninyo 'tong laggard na 'to.
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Monday, August 30th, 2004
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My grandparents, aunt, and uncle have blown up. They want me out soon.
So many people in my life have wanted me out of theirs. I guess this is no different. They think I have a hard heart. I can't do anything about that now.
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If any of you out there is looking to share an apartment or condo unit along Katipunan with someone, please, for the love of god, please contact me. I seriously can't stay in this place any longer. Seriously. I'm thinking of going nomad here if I can't find a roomie. I hate this place. I hate it. I hate how people treat me here, like a 5-year-old blacksheep yet to be forgiven. I need to make it out of here in a few months. I must get out of here by Christmas, at the very, very latest.
I've crossed so many things out of my life for as long as I can remember. But so far, all of them were never planned. This one I'm willing to do on purpose. Nobody has any idea how much I just want to trash this place and set it on fire. Fuck all this.
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Friday, August 27th, 2004
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Supersize Me will be in theaters September 1! Wahoo.
+++
Last night, Ashlee Simpson performed and was interviewed on The Tonight Show. She's one of the most ironic posers I've ever come across. For someone who's so gung-ho at trying to prove she's the Anti-Bubblegum Bubblehead, what with those bottles of black hair dye and that (disastrously insulting) "punk" tank top in her video, she's sounds more dumb-blonde-ish than her sister (which is fucking saying something, doi). She sounded really perky in an empty way last night, so if she has some sort of image manager a.k.a. the guy who helps trick teenagers into thinking that her nursery rhymes fall under rock music, he is clearly not doing his job. She sounded so dumb and shallow, I was pretty close to feeling sorry for her. (But I don't think I ever will end up pitying her since the pretentious don't deserve kindness anyway.) Has the music industry gotten so rotten that they don't care anymore if their beloved posers don't, well, pose that much?
+++
Hey freeallangels, check this out (haha, this should burn your cookies):
( ...the midget is loved... )
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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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I have found the secret to true, true happiness:
eating a warm chocolate chip scone slathered in I Can't Believe It's Not Butter as a soft, cold rain drums quietly on your window
+++
I'm typing this on my recently resurrected PC. I was almost about to accept the fact that this thing was a goner when I decided to twiddle with it one last time. And thus, this entry. Hahahahah. Suck this, Netopia. But I have to give credit where credit's due, so...
Thank you Nintendo for creating the Family Computer, for without its place in my so-called childhood, I never would have gotten this gift, nay, this blessing bestowed upon all non-professional hardware twiddlers around this beautiful, beautiful world. Ah-men.
On the other hand, my generation's pretty lucky to have experienced a life without all this, this stuff. I remember when my electonic typewriter was the most sophisticated thing I ever worked on, or when doing group projects meant actually doing something in one place at one time instead of just forming a yahoogroup and e-mailing away, or when I wrote on paper when I felt like I had to get something out of my system instead of posting on this livejournal that requires technology complicated enough to make your ballpen shed tears of blood. And god was that a nasty run-on sentence. And I should go do something more productive now.
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| Time: | 1:56 pm. |
| Mood: |  distressed. |
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I'm here at an open net cafe in the mall, doing my Filipino papers while everyone else is either playing games or surfing for porn.
I'm here because
1) I just came from Katipunan where, yes, I was stuck in a strip of road clogged with rainwater deep enough to do the paddle-kick in,
and
2) my fucking computer finally gave out and crashed last night, leaving me no other choice but to leave one Ragnarok addict pining away for his usual PC. Tough cookies. Besides, my hour and a half is almost up anyway. And I have 4.23 minutes left for this post.
So there. Not very eloquent today. Bye.
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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
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I'm conducting a survey for iAteneo regarding our favorite Hang Ten billboard overlooking Katipunan. According to our sources (yuck, pa-professional...shaddap Marge), the model for this billboard (who we also heard is the son of Hang Ten's owner, surprise, surprise) is very vocal about how proud he is of his, um, work. So if you have absolutely anything to say about this little (haha) subject (about the actual billboard, about the model, etc.), please post a comment. If you want to be quoted in the upcoming online issue, please leave your name and course along with your blab. Thehhhhnk yooooo. :)
+++
My comment? Awang-awa ako sa jowa niya. Bow. At maliit siguro, no?
+++
Putakte si Theo prof. Another fucking quiz on Friday about four fucking essays that I don't fucking care about. And right after he gave a Hindenburg of a long exam, no less. Lawd have mercy.
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Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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Caught The Stepford Wives. Eh. It was trite, but I got through it just fine. It's a popcorn movie, nothing too painful.
+++
My little cousins Nikos and Zoe go to this private school with a curriculum that has never ceased to amaze me. Last year, fourth-grader Zoe won a huge glass trophy for being, get this, Investor of the Year. Apparently, she and the rest of her ten-year-old classmates had to set up their own stock exchange and start investing, and Zoe ended up with the most money (in theory). Zoe's weekly homework also includes Dutch history and tricky permutations that has left her parents pacing their house with calculators.
Nikos, who has started kindergarten this year, also has his My Little Junior Mini Kiddie Organizer full. Today, he brought his entire class over here to the compound for a field trip. It seems that instead of show-and-tell, these kids are required to take their entire class somewhere far enough, transpo, food, and all. So, this morning, the place was overrun with little four-year-olds and their Dora the Explorah-bag-wielding yayas.
When I was in kindergarten, making fruit salad in class was an enormous deal. The fact that I had to go ask my mother to get me a bottle of nata de coco was gargantuan to me. And when I was in fourth grade, I was learning basic fractions through a chalk drawing of a family-size pepperoni special, which the teacher kept calling "pitcha pie." Back then, "investor" sounded like the new bad guy in that week's episode of Transformers. Back then, I couldn't even take myself anywhere out of the school.
I don't know what to make of this new, enhanced curriculum for kids. Is the adult world that cutthroat enough to require kids to know everything eons before they take a college entrance exam? Why has childhood suddenly become mere preparation for being old? Even the kids' own toys, like those Bratz and Diva Stars, will them to grow up.
Man. Kids cans still do well in the real world even if they weren't enrolled in a newfangled set of classes, right? Right? Because I don't think I can stomach a future where your employer needs to know if you took up advanced accounting, the Baroque movement, and communication theory along with your ABCs.
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Monday, August 16th, 2004
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Got this from an LJ of a person I do not know. I've done something like this before, but the statements enumerated were different, so meron akong semi-slightly-teensy-weensy-itty-bitty-yellow-polka-dot-jockstrap valid excuse to waste my time (and yours, if you actually willed yourself to read this entire entry). So there.
Copy and paste this to your blog and highlight the stuff you're guilty of.
01. When I was younger, I made bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books. (Wait. Define "lots" muna.)
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games. (I used to, though. At tanong lang, ano ba talaga yung pangalan ng mushroom boy sa Super Mario 2? Alam niyo yun, yung may vest at nagbabadtrip sa iyo pagkatapos mong i-avoid si King Koopa sa castle sa bawat level?)
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched a porn movie. (Warning to anyone who decides to do this survey too: if you highlight this and you did so only because you saw the La Salle "scandal", technically, hindi ka pa nakapanood ng porn movie. So go out and get something good. Kawawa ka naman.)
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I have acne-free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently. (My stars! Leaping lizards, Daddy Warbucks!)
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret that I dont want people to know. (Syempre, ang tanga ko at hinighlight ko 'to.)
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have long thick hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I have a twin. (Well, hindi sa dugo, pero twin ko pa rin si deardaniel. At may taong naniniwalang may identical twin akong nagsusuot ng Coke cap earrings habang ako ang nakasuot ng sodatab. Tanga, tanga, tanga.)
35. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyes in the past. (FAKE EYES?!?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?!?!?!?!??!?!)
36. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to cornrow. (Oh my god. At first glance, akala ko bastos yung tanong.)
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
44. I think Britney Spears is hot.
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants.
53. I love to shop. (Give me money.)
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto. (Fo' shizzle, ma nizzle.)
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my blog. (I'm sad.)
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a DAMN good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future. (Just one. To train.)
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at school to blog. (LIKE RIGHT NOW, BITCH.)
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum. (Holy. What exactly does that entail?!?)
88. I enjoy country music.
89. I would die for my best friends.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (Ugh.)
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all (his music).
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I love it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy and joyful as of this moment. (No, because I it just hit me that I concentrated on 99 time-consuming statements. And shame on you, reader, for making it this far. Good night.)
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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
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I'm way past hibernation. Fortunately, thanks to an old teacher, I've regained my drive.
I write fiction too, dagnammit!
Aaaaah. Glad to be back, boys. :)
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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
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Ka-ching.
I just finished rummaging through all the closets on the house's second floor, looking for native stuff for the Acomm Tambay. So far, I've unearthed eight salakots, a bunch of crocodile teeth necklaces, an Ifugao headdress, and my Talaandig bow and arrow. Apparently, this place is a tribal reserve when we're not looking.
Besides these, I was also able to strike gold in another department. Inside a particularly rotten cardboard box (god, how I love old cardboard boxes), I found dozens of vinyl records, cassettes, and CDs. They were the albums left over from when my Tito Gabby held his erstwhile thrift store. I naturally took some stuff (most of them were unopened, in plastic) and had a listen. I got cassettes of The Cure, Annie Lennox, and The Black Crowes. For the CDs, I grabbed The Sugar Cubes, Cornershop, The Clash, Rizal Underground (nineties, mehn), an alternative Asian-American band compilation, and a double-CD punk compilation. I also found some stuff by The Pale Fountains and The Jesus Lizard. I have no idea who these two are, so if anyone knows anything, waste a minute of your precious time and snap me out of ignorance. Thankie.
I hoped for a dead body earlier this afternoon, but now, I couldn't care less. More music for meeeeee.
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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I'm not writing this because I'm an ukay girl. I have nothing against spending money; in fact, I enjoy spending whatever miniscule amount I have (whenever I have the chance to even get some sort-of "amount") on stuff that are guaranteed to make me happy--movies, food, CDs, male prostitutes, books, etc. I'm no miser. And I'm not against people who spend big amounts of money, either. As long as it's worth it, like a nice camera, video equipment or a good sound system. If you're sure you can use it and even let it help you enjoy life in a good, non-D.O.M. sort of way, then why the hell not?
Here's the not:
I was flipping through a local lifestyle mag this evening and saw this spread for ladies' handbags. They were pretty drab, ugly deals. Cheap-looking vinyl ones with garish logos, dull designs made in dull leather; they were the most boring, corny, simplistic group of sewn-up cowhide I had ever seen. And their prices ranged from 40,000 to 70,000 pesos.
I am aware that designer goods really are that expensive. I guess I just wanted to announce, once and for all, how pissed off I am about it. I don't care what brand it is. It's butt-ugly. And I'm not just saying this because I will never be a pa-classic, pa-demure, pearl earring, handbag sort of person, but because I have common sense. The bag doesn't look good. End of sentence.
For something worth a hell of a lot of money (my god, hundreds of CDs in Margie-units), something that can feed people many, many, many times over, something that can send a kid to Ateneo for one semester, something that can pay several month's rent, something that can help save a fucking life, one tiny, plain, homely handbag is not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it.
There are less-expensive, better-looking bags out there. And again, this isn't a matter of taste. There are plenty of cheaper bags out there that, though they aren't my style, will serve handbag-users just as well as those pieces of daytime robbery.
Some people might think that I just don't get it, that there's a sense of luxury that they can't get anywhere else with these designer items.
UH, NO.
A pathetic little piece of leather for tens of thousands of pesos? Call me crazy, but I think they don't get it.
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There's nothing like the feeling you get when you rush out of the theater when Eternal Sunshine's credits start to roll and grab some white cheese pizza for take-out and take your walk home as quickly as possible because you don't want the pizza to get cold and there's so many people on the street and there's a guy carrying his baby in front of you and the baby looks at you with pure, untainted gladness and you smile back even if the people in the buses are looking at you funny and the road looks so stretched out and the colorful buildings loom over you in a friendly way and it ever-so-slowly starts to rain, drop by innocent drop, and the moment you get to your gate and you take out your key you don't really dread making your way in because you just want to go up to your bedroom, take the pizza which you've successfully kept warm out of the box, and just eat the entire damn thing while watching The Simpsons even if your stomach starts to hurt because you've eaten too much all because you don't feel depressed, you're just overly full and you're thinking to yourself, man, you want to share life with somebody once more and you will find someone again, Margie, you will find someone again.
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Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
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| Time: | 6:55 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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Don't bother saying you're sorry. Why don't you come in? Smoke all my cigarettes again. Every time I get no further. How long has it been? Come on in now, wipe your feet on my dreams. You take up my time, like some cheap magazine, when I could have been learning something. Oh well, you know what I mean. I've done this before. And I will do it again. Come on and kill me baby, while you smile like a friend. Oh and I'll come running just to do it again.
You are the last drink I never should have drunk.
You are the body hidden in the trunk.
You are the habit I can't seem to kick.
You are my secrets on the front page every week.
You are the car I never should have bought.
You are the train I never should have caught.
You are the cut that makes me hide my face.
You are the party that makes me feel my age.
Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid.
Like a plane I've been told I never should board.
Like a film that's so bad but I've got to stay till the end, let me tell you now: It's lucky for you that we're friends.
- Like A Friend, Pulp
+++
Bye, Karl. It was a car crash six years in the making. I didn't die on impact, but I wish I did.
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HOY. QUIT DOWNLOADING ANIMAL PORN AND READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES.
Do any of you know of a bar with a spacious stage that can be seen from all angles? I need to find a bar that can serve as a good venue for performances (theater, music, etc.) and exhibits. Someplace spacious enough for both the artists and the audience. If you know a good spot, please post a comment here or email me at carbonated_gothic@hotmail.com with as much info as possible. Maraming, maraming salamat.
you can go back to your porn now. i thank you.
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relaxed.
weird.
indifferent.
refreshed.
satisfied.
infuriated.
determined.